Messed it up
by germanfanfictioner
Summary: Tim and Abby are getting close but Tim forgets something really important. Can he fix the mess he made?
1. Chapter 1

**Messed Up**

**I got the idea for this when I sat in my math exam. I hope you like it. **

The door of the elevator opened and I went into Abby's lab. She worked on her computer and heard as usual her favorite songs. I switched the stereo off and Abby's head jerked up.

»Hey! Oh-It is you. «

»Hi Abs. «

She hugged me.

»What's up, Tim? «

»I have to make a background check about our dead Petty Officer. Financial records, phone calls, emails stuff like that. «

»And why are you here? Usually you make this upstairs. «

»Gibbs is not in a really good mood and I figured out it would be better to leave him alone. «

Abby grinned.

»Smart boy. «

She continued her work and I used the computer next to her for my research. We worked for a few minutes quietly except for the rhythm click clack of our typing. Then Abby asked:

»Do you have a date tonight? «

»Uh-no. Why? «

»You're looking hot today. «

I froze.

»Uh-uh-what? «

Abby smiled.

»You know I thought we could do this whole friends-with-benefits thing again. Like we did before you joined Gibbs' team. «

»Abby I don't think…«

She shut me off with a kiss. The kiss was as good as ever with Abby. Sweet. Passionate. My brain switched off and I kissed her back. We kissed for a few minutes, until…

»Hey Abs, do you have- what the f***?! «

We jumped and I saw Tony standing in the door. Tony, the guy I have been dating since we came back from Somalia one and a half month ago. I caught a glimpse of pain in his eyes, but it faded quickly when Tony put his joking, charming clown mask on, which covered his true feelings. Now his eyes showed false amusement and he smiled a big fake smile.

»Whoa- careful McLoverboy! If I had been Gibbs you would be dead right now. «

»Gibbs wouldn't harm you Tim. He loves you. «, Abby told me.

»Abs, he loves you more. You are like his daughter, while our McGeek here is just the weird, geeky cousin. «, Tony retorted.

He hurt me, but I was pretty sure this was his intention. Abby shook her head.

»Tim don't listen! We all like you. «

»And don't forget Rule 12! «, Tony added.

»Tony stop to be so mean and annoying! You know I can kill you…«

»And leave no forensic evidence. Yeah I know. «, he finished Abby's well-known sentence and waved his hand.

»Speaking of forensic evidence the Bossman sent me to ask you if you've found something…«

Abby nodded.

»I found traces of powder on his jacket so he was shot from short distance. And under his nails I found DNA. It is from Petty Officer Jeffrey Wright. Here is his address. «

Tony kissed her cheek handed her a Caf-Pow and said:

»Good job Abs. Continue with whatever you two did before I came in. «

He waved at us and left. Abby looked at me and smiled.

»Look, Abby. We shouldn't have done that. «

»Why not? «

»Because I am dating someone. Since one and a half month. «

She stared at me. Speechless. I began to worry, but the she did the one thing I never expected her to do: She slapped me.

»Ouch! What was that for? «

I put a hand on the spot where Abby's hand met my face.

»First, you didn't tell me that you are dating someone and we are supposed to be best friends and second you kissed me back! «

I smiled weakly.

»I am sorry Abs. «

»You should be. Do I know the person you are dating? «

»No. «

But I hesitated and she noticed.

»McGee…«

I sighed.

»Fine, but promise me that you wont tell it someone. «

She nodded eagerly.

»It is- it's Tony. «

Her jaw fell and she turned her back on me.

»Abby? «

»I can't look in your face right now without the urge to slap you again. «

»Why? You kissed me! «

»Yes, I know and I shouldn't have done that, but the guy you are dating came in and caught us kissing. And you didn't say a word neither did you run after him. And because of his past you probably really hurt Tony. «

»His past? What do you mean? He never told me anything about his past. «

»I heard accidentally a talk of Tony and Gibbs. I won't say anything to you because it is not my business, but Tony has problems to trust people and you betrayed his trust. «

I sighed again.

»I know I shouldn't have kissed you back. After I finished my background check I will look for him and apologize. «

Abby hugged me.

»Sorry for the slap. «

»I deserved it. «

She laughed.

»Abby? «

»Yes, Tim? «

»Why did you kiss me? «

»I had for a long time no sex and you know how I like it and then you came in looking so hot and I remembered how great you are in bed. If I had known you and Tony are seeing each other I hadn't do that. «

»But I thought you are dating the guy you met on a concert three months ago. «

»I dumped him two weeks ago. He didn't want to rush things with me and it showed me that he wanted something really serious with me, but I don't want something serious yet. «

After 30 minutes I went upstairs. Only Gibbs sat in the Bullpen. I told him what I have found. It wasn't that much, though. In the moment I finished Tony and Ziva came in.

»Boss, the Petty Officer is in the Interrogation Room. «

»DiNozzo, Interrogation room! McGee. David. You and I. Observation Room! «

We nodded. Tony went to his desk to grab some sheets of paper and I stepped close to him.

»Once we are done can we talk, please? «

»I don't know what we have to talk about. Except for this new film with…«

»Tony, please. We need to talk. «

»Step back McNeedy! I have to work. «

I sighed and headed to the Observation Room. Gibbs asked:

»What's with you and DiNozzo? «

»Uh-nothing. Why do you ask Boss? «

»It is not nothing. When he came back from Abby's lab he muttered something with your name. And when he came in the Bullpen a few minutes ago and saw you he looked like he wanted to turn around and leave. «

I rubbed with my hand over my forehead.

»Look, Boss I did something stupid, but I will fix things with Tony. «

»Yes you will. Otherwise I will send you back to CyberCrimes. «

I nodded and turned my attention to the Interrogation Room.

Tony came in and sat in his chair.

»Petty Officer Jeffrey Wright do you know why you are here? «

»Actually no. «

»You are here, because Petty Officer Daniel Mitchell was murdered this morning. «

»D-Danny is d-dea…Danny i-is… He is dead? «

Tony nodded and the Petty Officer started to cry. Tony froze for a moment, but then he went around the table and laid an arm around the shoulders of the PO. It took several minutes to calm him down. After that Tony sat back on his chair.

»It seems to me you had a really close relationship with Petty Officer Wright. «

The PO laughed darkly, pulled his Smartphone out and showed Tony a video.

»What does this video tell you, Special Agent? «

»You two were engaged? «

The PO nodded.

»Nevertheless, I need to know: Where were you this morning between 6 and 9 am? «

»I had from 5 to 10 am guarding patrol on the base. You can ask my CO. «

»Any idea how your DNA came under your fiancés nails? «

The PO blushed and became quickly pale again.

»I-we-we had sex last night a-and h-he becomes-became really ecstatic and passionate so he had buried his nails in my back. «

He stood up and showed Tony scratches on his back. When he turned around again I saw him crying.

»Don't worry, Petty Officer. We are almost done. After that I won't bothering you anymore. Who knows that you were engaged? «

»Nobody. Danny's family doesn't feel comfortable with him being gay and my family is dead. Our only friends are in the Navy like us and we didn't tell them. _Don't ask, don't tell._ You know. «

»Do you have any idea who could have done this? «

The PO shook his head.

»Okay. We are done. I will confirm your alibi and then you can go home. «

»C-can I see him? Can I see Danny? «

»I will try to get you permission. «

»Thanks. «

Gibbs told me to confirm the POs alibi while he wanted to talk with DiNozzo, so I headed to my desk. Ziva left to speak with the CO of our victim. I called the CO, who told me he had spent the whole morning with PO Wright. Tony came in and I hung up.

»The CO confirmed his alibi. «

Tony nodded but didn't say a word. He called Ducky.

»Hey Duck. Do you mind if the fiancé of our guest comes to see him?-No? Good. We will be there in a few minutes. «

He hung up and left without a word. Gibbs was nowhere to seen, so I decided to call Abby.

_»Abby's lab? «_

»Hey, it's McGee. «

_»Timmy! Did you talk to Tony? «_

»He is avoiding me and don't want to talk a word. «

_»I can understand him. «_

»Yeah me too. If Gibbs gives us free for lunch could you ask Tony to spend lunch with you? I need to talk with him. «

_»Yeah, of course. You guys really need to figure things out. «_

»Thanks, Abs. I better continue to work before Gibbs is back. «

»Too late, McGee. «

I hung up.

»Uh-hey Boss. How long have you been here? «

»I will give you and Tony free for lunch. But only when you start working now. «

While I began to type I asked:

»You heard what I've said to Abby? «

»I won't say anything about a topic I do not know. And it is not my business. But when it affects the team it will become my business. «

»Understood. «

After 10 minutes Tony came back.

»The Petty Officer left. He was pretty down. «

»I understand that. DiNozzo, check if the family of the dead Petty Officer was out of town. «

»On it Boss. «

After a few minutes his phone rang.

»DiNozzo. Hi, Abby. Yes-sure-if I can… See you later. «

»You are allowed to eat lunch with Abby. «

»Uh-Boss? How do you know? «

Gibbs stared at him.

»Right. You are Gibbs. You know everything. «

Gibbs stared.

»Right Boss. Working Boss. «

I chuckled. Tony glared at me. He had his clown mask still on but this time I could see through it. In his eyes I saw pain, confusion, anger and something I didn't know. I became quiet and continued to work. Shortly after lunch I found something.

»Boss! The dead PO had a secret email account. Really hard to discover. There are only two mails. The first one is blackmail. The second one a death threat. Somebody figured out that the Petty Officer was gay and wanted money. He didn't get it so he threatened the PO. «

»Do you know who sent them? «

I shook my head.

»Whoever it was he hid his traces very well. I wrote a computer program, which should be able to find the source of the mails. «

»How long? «

»An hour. Maybe more. «

»Have a break. This is our only trace so we can't do much more when we still not know who sent this mail. «

Tony nodded and left quickly. I followed him to the elevator. Shortly before the doors closed I slipped in and hit the emergency button.

»What do you want, McGee? «

»I want to talk with you. Look Abby kissed me and she is really sorry. «

»I don't blame her for kissing you. I blame you for kissing back. «

»I shouldn't have done that. I am really sorry. But if we talk about it I am sure we will fix things. «

»What do you expect me to say? It is obvious that I shouldn't have trusted you. I don't know what we had and I don't know if it was for you as serious as for me, but whatever we had it is over. I can't trust you anymore. And I won't talk about it, because there is nothing to fix. «

He hit the emergency button and the elevator moved again. It stopped at Abby's lab and he left. The doors closed behind him and I knew I totally messed it up.

**Let me know what you think. Please review. This is a one-shot so I do not planned more chapters, because I really like this open ending. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Messed it up-Chapter two**

**Thanks for the nice reviews. You wanted to read more so here is the next chapter. Enjoy it!**

I sighed unhappy and let myself fall on my couch.

»Timmy, what are we doing with you and Tony? «, Abby asked worriedly.

Actually she came over to play with Jethro, but when I opened the door she insisted that we stay at home and talk. I protested, but she shut my protest down, because _'my face is pale and depressing. ' _Her words not mine.

»I don't think there is something to do. He hates me. «

»He doesn't hate you. He does really care about you. Otherwise he wouldn't be so hurt. «

»That's the problem! Even if he would forgive me, which is very unlikely, I will never forgive myself for hurting him. «

»Aww! That's so sweet, Timmy! «

»And it doesn't matter anyways. I totally embarrassed myself in front of him. «

»What happened? «

_Flashback_

_»Glad we solved that case so quickly. «, Ziva said._

_»It is even better, because we aren't on call this weekend. «_

_Gibbs rushed into the Bullpen. _

_»Go home. Have a nice weekend. «_

_He grabbed his coat and rushed out._

_Ziva looked after him. _

_»Do you think he has a date? I mean normally he isn't that eager to leave the office. «_

_I rolled my eyes. _

_»I don't think so. And if he has a date it is most likely with a bottle Bourbon and his basement. This case hit him really hard. «_

_»Why? «_

_»I think he remembered how he felt when Shannon and Kelly died. «_

_»Guess, you are right. Tony want me to join for a drink? «_

_He shook his head._

_»No, I'm finishing my report. But thanks for the offer. «_

_»And you McGee? «_

_»No. Thanks. I am heading home. «_

_»Okay then. Goodnight, guys. «_

_»Night, Ziva. «_

_»Bye. «, Tony mumbled._

_When she left, I headed to Tony's desk. He looked up and asked:_

_»What do you want, McGee? Your computer and your nerd friends are waiting. «_

_»I want to talk to you. I am sorry. I know I did something stupid and I'm so sorry. Please let me make it up to you. Give me another chance and I'll do everything you want. Give the word and I jump from a bridge if you want. Please! «_

_Tony looked at me with an unfathomable expression in his eyes. He stood up, grabbed his stuff and left without a word._

_Flashback End_

»I begged Abby. I begged! Probably Tony thinks now that I am desperate or something. «

»Well you ARE kind of desperate. You are desperate, because you don't know how to get him back. Yet. But don't worry. I will help you. «

»How? «

»I have no idea. But in case that you forget. I am pretty smart. And you , too. «

I chuckled.

»Let's go out with Jethro. «

We spent the entire day outside playing and running with him until he was completely worn out. After we brought him back to my place, Abby and I went to my favorite Italian restaurant. After we ordered Abby brought the topic Tony back.

»What are we doing? «

»I don't know. «

»What do you know? «

»I know that every time I see him I want to hug him and kiss him and tell him how much I love him. And I want to beg him to take me back. «

»You guys would be so adorable together. When we fixed things between you, do you mind if I could watch kissing or more? «

»IF we fix things… And no. Once I get him back I won't share. «

»Aww. Cute. I have an idea. Tell Tony everything you told me. He will know that you are serious. «

»No. He will run or yell at me or worse: stare at me with this weird look. «

»So you will do nothing? What if he finds someone? A nice girl or guy? How could you bear it if he starts dating again? I can't see you being unhappy. At least we have to do everything we can. Otherwise you will play the 'what if' game for the rest of your life. «

»I will scare everybody away. Tony is mine. «

Abby frowned.

»I am confused. You claim Tony as your own, but you refuse to do something? «

I sighed.

»I didn't say that. I will wait until he calmed down a bit and then try again. «

After that we avoided to speak about Tony and had a nice evening. The next day we spent also together. Abby distracted me from Tony and the misery I made. So I was in a really good mood when I walked into the Bullpen the next morning. When I was about to sit on my desk Gibbs came in.

»Dead Petty Officer in Annapolis. Grab your gear! «

~Messed it up-Chapter two~

A few hours later I sat in Abby's lab doing computer stuff, while she worked on the evidence from our crime scene. We chatted and laughed until Tony came in.

»Uh-Abby could I talk to you please? «

She nodded and looked at me.

»I-I am going into the backroom. «

I sat down at Abby's desk and looked into the lab. I couldn't hear them and it drove me crazy. But then Abby pushed some keys on her computer and I could hear their conversation. I grinned.

»I-uh-I wanted to apologize, Abs. I wasn't exactly nice to you these last days and I am sorry. I know now that Tim and you are meant for each other. You are perfect for each other and I wish you the best. «

He turned around and wanted to leave, but Abby stopped him.

»Tim and I? Are you crazy? He is head over heels for you. There is nothing between us. I kissed him and it was a mistake. I wouldn't have done it if I had known that you are with him. He has only feelings for you. «

»You-what? But I saw you two on a romantic dinner date the day before yesterday. «

»That wasn't a date! He was upset and sad and I distracted him. Otherwise he would have been the whole weekend in his apartment moping over you. «

»You-no-wait-what? «

»Tony, do you want to be in a relationship with Tim again? «

»I-uh-yes. I love him, but… «

»No, buts! You love him, he loves you! So get back together! It is not so difficult. «

Tony rubbed his hand over his face.

»But it is. Like I said to him I don't know if I can trust him. I mean I will always know that he has my six out there and that he will ever be a great friend. But as my boyfriend? I don't know…«

»I know you. This is not only about trust, isn't it? «

»I don't know if I can trust him, because I am afraid. Afraid that he will find someone better, which isn't that unlikely. He is smart, funny, caring and hot and I-I am just Tony. I have a lot of baggage. Tim deserves someone better. Someone perfect. «

»He needs YOU! «

Tony shook his head and my heart broke. Tony looked so devastated. I wanted to cuddle with him and tell him everything is fine, but I couldn't.

»So you want a guarantee that he will stay forever with you? «

I wanted to scream that he doesn't need a guarantee. That I will stay forever with him when he lets me, but I couldn't. Tony answered hesitantly:

»Yes, but there is no guarantee. «

Abby leaned forward and whispered something in his ear. His eyes widened.

»Trust me Tony. It will work. «

»Abby, why do you care so much? «

»Timmy is my best friend and you are like a brother to me. I don't want either of you being hurt. And his whole thing is my fault. «

»It isn't. You didn't know. You couldn't have known. I told Tim that I didn't want to come out of the closet. I-uh I will go upstairs. I don't want a head slap. Thanks for-for everything. «

She hugged him.

»I am always there for you. And think about what I told you. «

After he nodded and left I went back to Abby.

»How did you make him talk? «

Abby smiled sadly.

»First because we know each other for so long and we trust each other so much and second, because he is so afraid and so heartbroken and I think a little bit surprised that we aren't together. He needed someone. I can't see Tony like that. «

»Neither can I. It is even worse, because I know I am the reason for this. By the way, what did you tell him at the end? «

»If I would tell you I had to kill you. «

»Abby, please…«

She sighed.

»I gave him an advice. If he decides to follow it, you will see. You will know what I told him. «

»You won't tell me more, right? «

»Even if you- and almost everybody else- have another opinion, I am good at keeping secrets. «

»I am worried. What if he runs away? «

»He won't. «

Abby hugged me and I let my tears fall.

»I hope so…«

**Good? Bad? Please review! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the nice reviews. This chapter is special. It is not from Tim's POV, but from the POV of different of his co workers. This is about how everybody sees the conflict between Tim and Tony. It will be also revealed what Abby told Tony. **

**Chapter 3**

**Abby's POV**

I couldn't concentrate. For the first time in my life I couldn't focus on work. And it wasn't because I had on of the typical 60 hour day. No I could deal with extraordinary long work periods. My Caf-Pow was also a great help. No… I couldn't focus because of my two favorite guys who had broken hearts. When Tim left the lab a few minutes ago he felt so guilty and unhappy. And Tony… I couldn't even imagine how he felt. I could see that Tony loved Tim truly, more than everything and he wanted him back so bad, but something held him back. I didn't know what and it drove me crazy. I was one of the persons Tony trusted the most, but he never told me something about his past. I could totally understand him. He only told Gibbs and Gibbs is like a father for him. In fact for all of us. I gave him an advice earlier, but now I didn't know if it had been right. In retrospect it was a really sill advice.

_Flashback_

_»So you want a guarantee that he will stay forever with you? «, I asked._

_Tony answered hesitantly:_

_»Yes, but there is no guarantee. «_

_Tony looked so desperately, so heartbroken and I had no idea how I could help him. Even if Tony and Tim would come back together there would be still this problem. And then it hit me. I had a bright idea. I knew Tim could hear us so I leaned to him and whispered in his ear:_

_»Make him jealous. Make him so jealous that he wants to kill anyone who is looking at you. Dress yourself so hot that Tim will jump at you. And flirt! A lot! Not with him of course, but with gorgeous girls AND guys. Tell stories about hot nights. Tim will go crazy. And he will beg you to take him back. «_

_Flashback End_

I wasn't so sure if it was a good idea.

_'What if things get worse just because of a stupid advice of me? What if this will destroy their relationship?'_

I hoped. I hoped for them.

**Gibbs' POV**

_'Something is wrong…'_

I looked at my team. Ziva, Tony and Tim were working.

_'Something is wrong…'_ I thought again.

And then it hit me. They were working SILENTLY. No teasing, no jokes, no pranks, no references to movies. Instead of them glares: Ziva watched her co-workers closely. And when Tony had his eyes on his computer or desk Tim looked guilty, helpless and heartbroken at him, and when Tim had his eyes on his computer Tony looked at him clueless, questioning and heartbroken at him. I had no idea what their problem was. Since Somalia Tim and Tony were a lot closer than before, but since two weeks they barely talked to each other. I decided to ask Abby if she knows something. I headed into their lab.

»Gibbs what are you doing here? «

»DiNozzo and McGee «

Her face showed understanding.

»You know what's up with them. «

I didn't ask, I was absolutely sure. She nodded and I waited for her to tell me.

»I-I am sorry Gibbs. I want to tell you, but it is not my place to tell. They trust me and I won't break their trust. «

I looked at her expectantly.

»Gibbs don't look at me like this! «

»Abby… I have to know when something is wrong in my team. «

She thought for a moment and said finally:

»Rule 4. « **(1)**

»Abby…«

»I know you are worried. When they are either physical or emotionally so hurt that we need your help, I will tell you. But know they should be still able to fix this mess on their own. Think of Rule 45! « **(2)**

»I understand…«

Abby hugged me.

»Thanks Gibbs. You are the best. «

I got coffee and went back to my desk.

_'Two days. They get two days to fix this.'_

Even if I wouldn't admit it they are as much my children as Kelly was. I sighed. Another silent day at the office.

**Ziva's POV**

_'What the hell is wrong with Tony and McGee? '_, I asked myself once more.

They looked at each other with this weird looks, but never when the other is looking too. And they never talk to each other. Gibbs sighed. I looked at him and he gave me a questioning look, which was as good as a spoken question:

»Do you know something? «

I shook my head and focused on work again. That wasn't completely a lie. I didn't know what their problem was, but I had an idea. My suspicion was that they had couple problems. When I came back from Somalia I noticed that they were a lot closer, more touchy and nicer to each other, especially Tony was. I didn't know if they were a couple, but with the mixture of my Mossad and NCIS skills I could say that this was a possibility. I remembered the first time I had the suspicion. It was on our flight back after Somalia.

_Flashback_

_I was exhausted. And confused. I couldn't understand why they rescued me. Why they would die for me. I mean I was happy and grateful and I would have done the same thing for them, but never before someone did such a brave thing for me. Not my father, not my half-brother, not Michael. We had our own jet. Tony and Tim sat next to each other and I sat directly opposite of them. We were alone. Gibbs was in the cockpit to do whatever he had to do. I looked at Tony and Tim. I froze when I saw them. They leaned sleeping against each other, Tim's head on Tony's shoulder and Tony's head on Tim's head. Their bodies snuggled into each other and they had both identical contentedly and peacefully smiles. It was the cutest thing I saw for a while. I frowned. Before I left the team they would never ever have done that. Not even in the sleep. _

_Flashback End_

Since that I saw more signs: they shared smiles and touches when they thought nobody would look, they covered for each other when they were late or made a mistake and they came almost every day together to work. And on the rare occasions they did not one of them brought breakfast and one of them coffee for the other. They tried to cover it by bringing everybody, but it was clear what they did. They seemed to be happy. But not now. Something happened. I guessed they had an argument or something like that.

_'They were so happy. I hope they will fix their relationship. Doesn't matter if they are a couple or not. '_

**(1) Rule 4: The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person-if you must. There is no third best. **

**(2) Rule 45: Clean up the mess that you make. **

**Thanks for reading I hope you liked it. Do you want to read how Tony feels right now? If not I will continue to Tim's POV, but if you want the next chapter will be Tony's POV. Please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate them! **

**I am so sorry for not updating. I changed this chapter at least four times, but I hope you will like it. For everyone who wanted to read Tony's POV I will post a one shot soon.**

**Chapter 4**

**Tim's POV**

One week. One week since Abby and Tony talked and nothing happened. It was Monday. I sat on my desk and I wasn't in a really good shape. For the last week I barely ate or slept. Gibbs came in.

»Dead midshipman in Norfolk. Grab your gear. «

This case was pretty tough, but finally after a few days we got a lead. We entered the house of the victim. In the living room we found the kidnapped woman of the victim. Dead. And we found her kidnapper, who waited for us. He pointed his gun at us. I heard a gunshot and everything went black.

_»Tim! Tim, come on! Stay with me! You have to wake up! Don't give up! Please, Tim! Please don't leave me! I love you! «_

When I woke up I felt dizzy and nauseous. My mind was foggy. I needed a few minutes to realize that I was in a hospital room. When I tried to move a stinging pain came from my spine. I groaned and it went black again.

The next time I woke up Ducky sat next to my bed.

»How do you feel my lad? «

»Not good. But I am glad the pain killers are working. How long was I out? «

He frowned.

»Three weeks. What do you mean? «

»I woke up earlier with immense pain in my spine. But now I feel nothing. «

The older male's face darkened.

»What's up, Ducky? «

»Move your feet! «

I tried, but something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong.

»I-I can't feel them…«

During the next hours a bunch of doctors examined me. Apparently a bullet hit my spine and cut some nerves. When I arrived at the hospital I had surgery and they took the bullet out. But unfortunately they weren't able to monitor the damage. So they told me…The doctors ordered a new surgery for the next day. When I woke up after that surgery I was told that they did as much as they could, but it was not sure if I could walk again. Ducky told my co-workers and my family and then they visited me. My parents, Sarah, Ducky and Palmer. My vision was blurry and I didn't pay much attention to my visitors, in fact I can't remember what was said during these visits. Except for two. When Gibbs and Ziva visited me I asked them:

»Where is Tony? «

They exchanged looks.

»He wasn't shot, too. Was he? «, I panicked.

Ziva shook her head.

»No... But when Ducky told us that maybe you couldn't walk again, he left. «

After them Abby came. As expected she was distraught. At the end when she had to take a breath and paused speaking, I asked her about Tony.

»He will come around. He is just shocked. Like we're all. And I am sure he blames himself for what happened. «

The doctors couldn't do anything about my spine so I had to be in the hospital until the surgery wound healed, which meant one week. Everyday of this week was the same. I got more and more depressed everyday, but I never cried. When someone visited me, I pretended to be fine. And everyday I asked Abby about Tony and everyday I got the same answer:

»He will come around. «

The day before I should released I got this answer again and I snapped:

»For Gods sake! Abby! Stop lying! He won't come around. He doesn't like me anymore. He won't come…«

I cried for at least thirty minutes, before Abby could calm me down. And before she left she said:

»Trust him, Tim. Please trust him. «

I didn't know what she meant and she gave me no further explanation.

~Chapter 4~

After I signed my release papers a male nurse lifted me into a wheelchair and brought me in the entrance hall, where the one person took me I didn't expect.

»How are you feeling, McSleepingHead? «

I shook my head. On the one hand I was happy to see them, but I was also really angry that he let me alone the last week. Tony sighed and pulled the wheelchair to his car.

»I don't want to come with you. «

»Why? What's wrong? «

Something clicked inside of me and I exploded.

»What's wrong? I tell you what's wrong! I was shot, lie for almost a month in the hospital, three of them I was in coma. Maybe I won't walk again. And you never showed up. You never visited me! You didn't even call! I thought you love me! «

There was an emotion in Tony's eyes I did not expect: hurt. Immediately I felt guilty. Without saying a word Tony lifted me in the car, put the wheelchair in the back and drove me home. When I was in my wheelchair again in front of my house in Silver Spring, I noticed a difference. The steps in front of the door were gone. Instead there was a ramp now. Inside the threshold were gone, the furniture was moved so I could reach every place with my chair and the knobs on the door where moved down so I could reach them. On my stairs a electric chair was installed, which was able to bring me up and down.

»I am sorry for not visiting, but I tried to make this as best as I could. «, Tony said quietly.

»Oh, Tony. I am sorry. I dint mean to be so mean. «

»It is okay Tim. I understand. «

He bent down and kissed me gently. I felt like in heaven. I missed that so much. I missed Tony so much. When we broke the kiss, I asked:

»What does that mean? «

The love of my life kissed me gently again.

»It means I love you . And I am sorry for letting you suffer just because I didn't know what to do. «

»I love you too. But nonetheless I think we should talk this out. «

The older male laughed quietly.

»We will. Tomorrow. «

HE made a quick dinner. After that he told me to get a shower. On my way to the bathroom, I tried to figure a way out for me to shower. But in the bathroom I saw Tony took care of that, too. In the shower was a mechanic chair, too. Somehow I didn't need help with dressing or undressing, but I needed some time. Tony got worried and got me. He carried me bridal style to my bed.

»You know I love to carry you like that. «

I chuckled and had to admit it was nice to be this close to Tony. When he laid me gently down I noticed for the first time how exhausted I was.

»Stay with me «, I said when Tony was about to leave.

He got into the bed and we cuddled until we fell asleep.

**I hope you like it. **

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